Black Label Society - Overlord

(Originally written for Under City Lights / Rare FM)

Black Label Society’s latest track, “Overlord”, is primarily dragged on by a compellingly sludgy guitar riff until it reaches the three minute mark and all hell suddenly breaks loose. Manic riffs and violently shredded solos provide a brief but welcome break from the song’s main body before it returns to its initial crushing stomp. Whilst a song that’s basically written around one riff shouldn’t last six minutes, somehow Zakk Wylde and his cohort of menacingly hairy groove-metallers manage to get away with it. Whilst not the most original or inventive of tracks, “Overlord” certainly makes me want to drink beer and shout along to the chorus and, honestly, that’s all you want from a Black Label Society cut.

Rob Zombie - Mars Needs Women

(Originally written for Under City Lights / Rare FM)

Rob Zombie’s latest single does little to stray from the tried and tested Zombie formula – the guitars stomp, Rob barks and the lyrics confuse. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, however. The sheer ridiculousness of the song proves highly contagious and, whilst I’m not entirely sure if Mars actually does need “angry red women”, I’m happy to take Rob’s word for it. There are a few splatterings of rather interesting, almost funk-based guitar lines from the ever-talented John 5 which, whilst mixed in with the standard Zombie affair of movie sound-bites and industrial tweaks, stop “Mars Needs Women” from becoming stale. At the crux of it, it’s a heavy and catchy track that does little to drag Rob Zombie out of his musical rut. A rehash of prior Zombie efforts perhaps, but an addictive one at least.

Looks That Aren't Standing The Test of Time

(In a bold change from the usual proceedings of reviews, here is an article I wrote for Pi Magazine's 'Style' issue that basically involved me being slightly mean about lots of fantastic musicians. This version is slightly longer than the one that got printed, so enjoy it in all its extended glory. Also, all images in this version are shamelessly stolen from Google Image Search. Sorry about that.)

Music is unquestionably intertwined with image and some of the best musicians out there have rocked rather striking aesthetics in their time. Whilst their classic albums and musical contributions will remain timeless*, their creators will not. Here are a few not-so-stylish stalwarts who have aged far from gracefully.

*Okay, the music of Dead or Alive and Poison has aged horribly, but I will never stop listening to Look What The Cat Dragged In.

Robert Smith
(The Cure)

Pioneering the classic goth look in the ‘80s, no one expects Robert Smith to look clean-cut and trendy. But then, equally, no one expects Robert to look like he was rejected for the title role in the film adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘It’ – for those of you who don’t know ‘It’, what I’m getting at is Smith looks like an evil clown.

Pete Burns
(Dead Or Alive / ‘Celebrity Big Brother’)

Now, the last thing I wish to imply is that Pete Burns ever looked fashionable. The ‘You Spin Me Right Round’ video has him with teased, backcombed hair and an eye-patch, caught adrift in an ocean of ribbons and garishly coloured pop nonsense. But at least he looked vaguely human. Nowadays, his face has been stretched so much that he resembles a monster from Beetlejuice and his lips look like you could pop them just by looking at them too intensely.

Bret Michaels
(Poison / ‘Rock of Love’)

I’ve never seen anyone so insecure of their receding hairline that they have to wear a cowboy hat over a bandana. Take it off Bret, that weave is fooling nobody.

Axl Rose
(The Band Previously Known As Guns N’ Roses)

(2002, 2006, 2010)

I really thought it couldn’t get worse than the multi-coloured braids and hockey jerseys, but Axl Rose’s current look reeks of a middle aged man desperately trying to be “down with the kids”. You’re never going to be considered ‘relevant’ with a Fu Manchu, Axl.

Adam Ant
(Adam & The Technicolour Dreamcoat)

Marginally bizarre clothes aside, there is something moderately inhuman about Adam Ant nowadays. So much so that he looks like more like Kryten from Red Dwarf than Prince Charming.

Iggy Pop
(Iggy & The Stooges / Really annoying car insurance ads)

Please Iggy. Just put your shirt back on and we can pretend your leathery, drug-addled body never happened. Also, if there’s anyone I wouldn’t trust to sell me car insurance, it’s you and your creepy puppet clone.

Boy George
(Culture Club)

The New Romantic look was always a bit of an extreme one but in the last few years, ‘80s crooner Boy George can’t decide whether he wants to be an androgynous “Right Said” Fred Fairbrass or Phil Mitchell from Eastenders.

Madonna
(The Madge Madgeson Experience)

I love Madonna’s music as much as any self-respecting man (i.e. with a crippling sense of guilt and irrevocable shame) but the woman has transformed beyond creepy. She’s a Frankenstein creation made from Iggy Pop’s arms, a partially melted wax-model head and a shop mannequin’s legs. Amidst all the horrifically revealing costumes and relentless gyrating, all that enters my mind is that Madonna’s a parent. A weird, freaky, 52 year old parent.

Survival Awards

Lemmy Kilmister
(Motörhead)

Considering he’s 437 years old, Lemmy actually looks remarkably young. Or at least he would, if it wasn’t for the face-altering boils by his beard. Still, Kilmister deserves only respect for being rock & roll incarnate and still dressing like he walked out of a heavy metal spaghetti-western.

Keith Richards
(The Rolling Stones)

For all intents and purposes, Keith should have died multiple times during the ‘70s. Fair play to the guy for having more lives than a cat, even if he does generally look like a maddened homeless man.

Down - IV: Diary of a Mad Band

(Originally written for Under City Lights / Rare FM)

Down is quite literally the result of squeezing Pantera, Crowbar and Corrosion of Conformity together – both in personnel and sound. The result is a slow grooving, heavy bludgeoning of pure stoner metal. Their fourth album provides a rather faithful look in to the live Down experience, providing a chronological selection of cuts from their 2006 reunion tour. I say “faithful” because this is as raw as a live album comes; there are no studio touch-ups to be found here. Instead, we get treated to a fantastic array of sludging guitar riffs, pounding rhythm sections and the delightfully slurred vocals of Phil Anselmo. The flaws are audible through-out, particularly so in Phil’s voice which every once in a while goes horribly wrong (not in the least on the unbearably off-key ‘Planet Caravan’ wannabe, ‘Jail’). Equally, you can hear the guitars occasionally mess up (albeit, very rarely), providing the listener a real opportunity to listen to a band coming to grips with starting anew. It is rare that modern live albums sound genuinely live, especially so in the world of Pro-Tools abused metal, but Diary Of A Mad Band sees Down immerse you in gig the atmosphere as they storm through classics like ‘Lifer’ and ‘New Orleans Is A Dying Whore’. Even Phil’s ridiculous stage banter (which primarily entails indecipherable mumblings interjected by exclamations of “God-damn!” and “Bad-ASS!”) are kept fully intact. There are a few quieter moments, such as the melancholic ‘Learn From This Mistake’, but for the most part, things are heavy with that unmistakable Southern drawl.

If you’ve only heard Down in the studio and never had the opportunity to check them out live, this is the perfect solution. If, on the other hand, you have no idea who Down are, you could go a lot more wrong than picking this up. This is ballsy, Sabbath-inspired groove-metal through and through and is a testament to the band’s own integrity that they’re willing to commit their occasional flaws to record. It’s the kind of music that makes you want to shotgun some beers and punch a wall, but in a good way.

Alter Bridge - AB III

(Originally written for Under City Lights / Rare FM)

Alter Bridge’s third album, the logically titled AB III, sees the band inject some morose tonality in to their hard rock sound, presumably as a result of the apparently “dark” nature of the album’s concept. They indulge their more metallic side frequently, with opener ‘Slip In To The Void’ straddling a surprisingly well-executed line between groove-metal and melodic rock.

That’s not to say everything is blisteringly heavy - after all, this is Alter Bridge. Whilst the album doesn’t quite keep up with the intensity with which it starts, most of the songs are surprisingly hard hitting. ‘All Hope Is Gone’ is a slowed rocker with a bizarrely Celtic vibe, whereas album high-light, ‘Make It Right’, provides a mix of rock-balladry and Jimmy Page styled guitar twanging. Conversely, ‘Wonderful Life’ seems to be a generic ballad that falls a bit flat.

The band are clearly focussed on getting the balance between melody and heaviness just right, but this occasionally result in a split personality to tracks. ‘Ghost of the Days Gone By’ fleets between delicate verses and power-chord driven choruses before departing in to an almost Pantera-esque breakdown. Tracks such as ‘Isolation’ and ‘I Know It Hurts’ see Alter Bridge achieving their goal more succinctly, with the heavy riffage brilliantly juxtaposed by the soaring vocals of Myles Kennedy which serve to accentuate the melody behind the heaviness.

AB III is certainly quite a far cry from the band’s earlier material. I’ve always been rather on the fence about Alter Bridge, but AB III seems to cement the band as one worthy of attention. Whilst the album can drag on a bit, it primarily remains a prime example of strong, modern day rock and roll. At the very least, it’s deserves a good few listens from anyone who has ever wanted unfashionably long hair.

Michael Jackson - Hold My Hand

It is with a cautious sense of curiosity that I approach anything from the first of Michael Jackson’s posthumously issued albums (I’m assuming there will be more purely due to the unceremonious cash-cow Jackson’s death has provided). Leading single, ‘Hold My Hand’, sees Jackson performing a duet with Akon, a concept that initially filled me with fear, but remarkably, it works. Jackson’s vocals are as floatingly silky as ever before and Akon’s unsurprisingly auto-tuned voice seems to provide a slightly gritty but fitting counterpart. The entire production of the song clearly oozes qualities of Akon’s own material but it is admittedly jarring to hear Michael Jackson’s voice on something so overtly 21^st century. Whilst nothing particularly special, ‘Hold My Hand’ proves itself an upbeat if understated anthem that is sure to linger in the listener’s memory. With its sweeping orchestration and soothingly light accompaniment, ‘Hold My Hand’ has a certain charm despite its relative monotony. More than anything, it is pleasant to hear Michael’s voice on something new. Still, if you want a dose of classic sounding MJ, you’re probably best seeking out ‘Breaking News’.

Adler's Appetite - Alive

Being ejected from Guns N’ Roses – a band where members have clinically died for short periods from heavy substance abuse – for being too much of a junkie should give quite a clear impression of what metaphorical demons original drummer, Steven Adler, has been battling against for the last two decades. In a moment of sobriety, the maligned drummer formed Adler’s Appetite, a band that saw him and a cohort of other 1980s LA glam musicians effectively become a GN’R tribute act. New single ‘Alive’ however marks a recent trend of original material and, shockingly, it’s really quite good. ‘Alive’ is a short and sharp dose of ballsy hard rock that sees driving guitars, suitably gritty vocals and, of course, cowbell-laden drums come together harmoniously. Adler’s sticking with what he knows; thundering rhythms, head-bangingly heavy riffs and anthemic choruses that make you want to cockily punch the air. After circling the drain for so long, it’s fantastic to see Adler put out something as strong as this. ‘Alive’ is a slab of good-time, life affirming rock and roll that blows most of Chinese Democracy out of the water.